Grange Primary

Feb 22

The storyteller

She sat, chin in her hand, head turned towards the window like a flower drawn towards the light. Her eyes fixed on the sky, staring, lost in her own imagination. Looking out she did not see a sky as plain as any other would, no, she saw a sky in endless shades of day, dotted with clouds of peach floating like dreams in a sea of blue.

She had noticed that this was how she saw the world, not necessarily as it were, but in the story that it could tell. When she looked out on the horizon and her eyes fell upon a hilltop she wondered about the journey she would take to get there and, as she did so, a tale began to form in her mind. The people that she encountered inspired characters in her mind

21 comments so far

  1. berfin
    4:23 pm - 2-23-2016

    Original – She saw the world as a story waiting to be told.

    Mine – She glanced at the voluminous earth, as if a story was waiting to be declared.

  2. Jack s
    7:42 pm - 2-23-2016

    In text : She saw the world as a story was waiting to be told.

    Upgraded: She stood staring as if a story was eventually going to be revealed.

  3. Megan
    7:46 pm - 2-23-2016

    Original- She saw the world as a story being told.

    Mine- The young lady saw the colossal world as a calm bedtime story being told.

  4. lilly
    5:26 pm - 2-24-2016

    Original~ Churches brought tales of forgiveness and peace,happy beginnings blurry with sad endings.

    Mine~ Calm churches brought tales of mystery and belief, good starts misty with an unhappy end.

  5. lucy
    6:51 pm - 2-24-2016

    Storyteller – Dark creatures summoned from her nightmares found their place in these stories, but then, so did her heroes who were brave and showed great courage in the face of danger.

    mine – The nightmares ,the vicious mystical creatures that summoned before her that was found in these stories ,the mystical creatures who were the most disrespectful creatures ever to be seen and wouldn’t accept the consequences for there actions ,so her saviour who was generous and showed her honourable feelings to the young poor defenceless girl ,she laid her hand before the girl,for her protection , shelter and for the girls life ,however she had shown courage in face of demons.

    • Georgina
      1:37 pm - 2-26-2016

      Wow Lucy, I really love your version of it

  6. Angel
    6:53 pm - 2-24-2016

    Original– Churches brought tales of forgiveness and peace, happy beginnings blurring with sad endings.
    Mine– Prayerful churches brought fairy tales of forgiveness and peace, happy beginnings blurring with sad endings while people listen to God.

  7. Georgina
    6:55 pm - 2-24-2016

    Original- At beaches she imagined great love stories, two souls coming together like the tide and the shore and they mingled with her own memories

  8. Matt
    7:37 pm - 2-24-2016

    As she sorrowfully visualised that the beautiful dream of life was waiting to be shared

  9. Vicki Vincent
    10:56 pm - 2-24-2016

    Hi Y6MH! Thanks for taking the time to comment on my story – I hope that you enjoyed it. I have to tell you that I am sooooooooo impressed with your adaptations! You show a real talent for imagery and it has made my day to see your work. Well done for having a go at it too. It’s not always easy to take something of someone else’s and make it your own but that is what inspiration is all about. So, with this in mind, if you as a class would like to come up with an opening paragraph to inspire me then I will write a story especially for you. Keep up the good work!

  10. abby s
    7:57 am - 2-25-2016

    She saw the world as a new story each day,she always saw the sky as a endless shades of grey.

  11. declen
    4:36 pm - 2-25-2016

    She sat chin in her hand head turned to the window like a fluresant flower atracted to the elum

  12. Jack r
    1:28 pm - 2-26-2016

    Original: the world is it like a story waiting to be told

    Mine: she stared at the ruined world as if as story is waiting to be told

  13. Liam
    1:29 pm - 2-26-2016

    Original – she saw the world as a story was waiting to Be told. My- she saw the deadly dangerous world as a fateful story was waiting to be told.

  14. Jack d
    1:30 pm - 2-26-2016

    As she sat, chin in her hand she developed a dream, a dream af elegance full of ambition, whilst she stared blankly into the deep blue sky.

  15. Daniel r
    1:31 pm - 2-26-2016

    She saw the world as a new story

  16. Cody
    1:33 pm - 2-26-2016

    She sat, chin in her hand, head turned towards the window like a flower drawn towards the light.

    I like the she describes the way that she turns her heads.

  17. Leo
    1:34 pm - 2-26-2016

    Dotted with clouds of peach floating like dreams in a sea of blue on the horizon

  18. Ellie
    1:36 pm - 2-26-2016

    She sat chin in her hand and she looks at the blue sky
    She looks at the world each day a different way

  19. Connor
    1:36 pm - 2-26-2016

    She sat,chin in her hand and her turned to the window like a flutes ant flower attracted to the elum

  20. Connor
    1:38 pm - 2-26-2016

    She sat,chin in her hand and her turned to the window like a flutes ant flower attracted to the elum

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